Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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