I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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