he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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