I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
