I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
