so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
