do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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