Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
