His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
