you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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