Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
