So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
