I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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