I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
