i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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