Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I cut my penus on the lid.
nutella sex= disaster
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Randomize
