fuck your aforementioned shoe
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
