His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
