capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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