How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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