idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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