He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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