So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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