Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
