u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
