I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You may now shotgun with the bride
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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