The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
