there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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