guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
