u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
