Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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