I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Randomize
