so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
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