the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
