let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
