can u get pink eye on your cock?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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