I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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