were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
and she was petting her beer can
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
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One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
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Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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