my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
