I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i just had sex bonerless
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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