so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
