Why are handjobs necessary in class?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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