I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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