Your tits are I can't wait for
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
