No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
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He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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