if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
