my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
