Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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