Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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