He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
