Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
