i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
