Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I just found a bag of teeth...
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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