I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
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