Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize