Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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