You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
