She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
