I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Randomize
