I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I am mentally ready for anal.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
