I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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