In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
