Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
