woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
